Furcadia's Fault
by WickedVodka
Summary: Me and my best friend are transported to Trigun after a horrible yet humorous ordeal with Morpheus (stupid samuel l. jackson) Warning: Contains spoilers and a lot of cursing
1. Default Chapter

This fic is about me and my best friend gabbie. Beware of insanity. Gabbie helped me write it but she doesn't like fan fiction so she doesn't have an account ::glares at her::

Disclaimer: I don't own the matrix or trigun.

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Gabbie and Emmy are unsuccessfully trying to hack into furcadia.

Gabbie: Just think emmy; if we hack into furcadia we can get free wings finally.

Emmy: and portraits!

The computer flashes a blinding light and gabbie and emmy are transported into a white room. 2 starbursts are placed in front of them. A red one (watermelon) and a blue one (blue berry) 

[G: there is no such thing as a blueberry starbursts]

[E: shutup! I'm writing it and I'll do what I want!]

Morpheus appears.

Morpheus: If you choose the red one you will be transported to the matrix.

They raise their eyebrows

Morpheus: The blue one will make you forget everything and go back to normal life.

Gabbie: This is so lame.

Emmy: The matrix fucking sucked.

Gabbie: I know! But our life sucks to we might as well choose the red one.

Emmy: point taken.

They tear the red one in half and eat it.

Morpheus: Your first mission..

Emmy: Mission? Screw the mission! We're in the matrix man! 

Morpheus: Emmy….Gabbie….You are the ones.

Gabbie: wouldn't we be the twos?

Emmy: damn you gabbie, he's trying to speak!

Morpheus: Neo…

Gabbie: DAMNIT I'M NOT NEO AND WE AREN'T DOING YOUR STUPID MISSION!

Morpheus: I think you need to be punished…

Gabbie and Emmy: uuuuh….

Another blinding flash occurs and they appear in a desert. 

Emmy: Aww. Where the hell are we now?

Gabbie: I don't know emmy.

Gabbie starts singing.

Gabbie: IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING! Can you believe my name is gabbie? that's my name…gabbie. IT'S A BEATIFUL MORNING! Gabbie and emmy those are our names.

Emmy: Gabbie, just shut up

Gabbie: NO!

Kureneko-sama appears and starts talking.

Kureneko-sama: I'M NOT KURENEKO-SAMA I AM MORPHEUS.

Gabbie and emmy: O.O;

Morpheus: I have sentence you to Gunsmoke, have fun.

He disappears.

Emmy looks up to the sky.

Emmy: DAMN YOU SAMUEL L. JACKSON! I HATE YOU AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!

Gabbie: My names Gabbie.

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G: LA DE DA DE DA!

E: that's the first chapter. Yup.


	2. Episode 24

E: Time for the 2ND CHAPTER!

G: :sarcastically: joy

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, although I do own a cardboard box in which I sleep in under I69.

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Gabbie: Stupid Morpheus, I hope he jokes on that damn starburst.

Emmy: Morpheus….morphine….the resemblances are uncanny.

Gabbie: I just realized that we don't look like ourselves.

Emmy: Hm. It does seem that way. And we have weapons, that we do.

They walk for another mile until coming upon a plateau. 

Gabbie: It would appear we are in episode 24; Sin.

Emmy: Yes, I do believe we are, that I do.

Gabbie: Stop talking like Kenshin you fruitcake!

Emmy: Sorry, guessed it slipped. HEY VASHY IS ABOUT TO KILL LEGGIE! 

Gabbie: WE MUST STOP HIM! But how?

Emmy: Simple. We beat up the villagers that are attacking dumbass millie and meryl.

They calmly make their way over to the towns people.

Gabbie: You have the right to remain violent- I meant…un-violent.

Emmy: Yeah, you might wanna stop before we hurt you guys.

The towns people stare at them

Gabbie: I don't think we're getting to them.

Emmy: Me either.

The villagers go back to crowding around the dumbassess (millie & meryl)

Gabbie slaps her head: Oi!

Emmy taps one on the shoulder and clocks him in his nose.

Emmy: Try not to kill them, you know how Vash hates dead people.

Gabbie gives one a blow to the stomach.

Gabbie: No problem here. You're the violent one.

Gabbie elbows one in the neck.

Emmy: Riiight…

Emmy shoots one in the leg.

Emmy: hehehe. Talk about a stress reliever.

The 2 girls take down the small crowd of villagers. Gabbie and Emmy 'accidentally' kick millie and meryl.

Gabbie: whoops. Oh dear, did we kick you? ::evil smirk::

Emmy: We didn't mean to…honest.

Millie: oh its really no problem, seeing as how you saved us….

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R&R or die!


	3. Legatos Life

E: Third chapter! Woohoo!

G: My names gabbie.

E: NO IT ISN'T

G: Then…then…whats my name?

E: uuh…I'll get back to you on that,

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing.

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E: Yeah, that's right, we saved you.

G: Wow. Us saving someone?

E: Your right, this is too weird.

Emmy kicks meryl in the ribs.

Meryl: HEY! What was that for?

E: Well, I cant save someone unless I hurt them.

G: See, we don't normally SAVE people.

Millie and Meryl blink. Emmy calls over to where Vash has Legato at gunpoint.

E: ITS OK! YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL HIM ANYMORE!

Vash scratches his head with his gun.

Vash: Wow Legato, I didn't know you had friends.

Legato: Kill me! You must kill me Vash!

G: NOOOO! DON'T KILL LEGGIE! HE DOESN'T MEAN IT VASH!

Vash: Leggie? 

Legato: ….

Emmy and Gabbie run over to them.

Gabbie looks over at Vash.

G: If you kill him I will make sure you can NEVER have children!

Vash: Ahehe, I guess Legato isn't dying today.

Vash quickly steps away from him.

E: You see, Knives was just kidding about getting yourself killed Legato, it was all one big joke!

G: Yeah, a joke!

Legato: How do you know all this?

Emmy leanes in towards him

E: We know eeeeveerything!

G: Yup! We sure do! For instance, my name is gabbie, did you know that?

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E: I have a cold so the next chapter may take awhile

G: YOU DON'T HAVE A COLD LIAR!

E: Shut up! ::fake sneezes:: 


	4. Enter the Matrix: The Jenniter

E: Alright I added you Ice0apparition. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW JENNY?

J: Yes.

E: AAAH! Whered you come from?!

J: I don't know. Disclaimer: Emmy doesn't own anything or anyone cause shes a hobo.

E:Who gave you permission to do the disclaimer?

J: …I…don't know.

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Jenny is crouched behind a boulder watching the scene.

J: heh.

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V: Where exactly did you come from here?

E: Weell-

Emmy stops abruptly and listens. They all glance towards a boulder and hear the following:

3...2...1..LETS GO!

A girl jumps behind the boulder humming TANK! The opening from cowboy bebop.

J: DODODODO….DODO

E: holy shit…

J: DODODODO….DO

G: Oh no….

Jenny appears to be holding a water gun and attempts to cross over to another boulder and shoot them at the same time.

Vash: whats she singing?

Legato: MAKE IT STOP!

Jenny continues singing….then she tripped. Gabbie and Emmy fall over laughing and Legato has a amused smirk on his face.

Jenny gets up blushing furiously and dusts off her clothing.

E: what are YOU doing here?

J: Well, it IS my dream I have a right to be here.

G: This isn't a dream…

J: Oh…well then I don't know what I'm doing here.

Legato: Vash…you must kill me.

Vash: Lega-

G: LEGATO, SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOUR NOT GOING TO DIE, ALRIGHT?! We wont let vashy kill you, that would be such a tragedy.

Legato: It is my destiny…

E: Not anymore, we're here, and you arent going to die again.

Legato: Again?

J: Legato…did you know your name means smooth and connected?

Legato: No…no I didn't.

J: Well now you do.

Vash: I'm so glad I don't have to kill anyone.

Millie: Me to!

Legato: But…

E: Looky here leggy, knives was just…kidding about the whole suicide mission thing, k?

J: Yeah, he told us so.

G: plus, I think we're here to stop your death.

Morpheus appears behind them.

Morpheus: I see you have realized your mission…

J: Holy shit! Its Morpheus!

E: Listen here Samuel L. Jackson, We're sick of this whole Matri-

Morpheus: FOOL! Samuel L. Jackson does NOT play me in the Matrix, Laurence Fishburne does.

G: Riiiight

J: Dude….the matrix sucked!

E: The Matrix: Unloaded


	5. Love and Peace

E: I thank you for point out my mistake, you're the only one that noticed it. I've actually been aware of that for some time now, but I've been to lazy to change it. That's why I fixed it in chapter 4, so all is well!

G: Emmy, remember when you fell and hit the oven?

E: I don't want to talk about that.

J: I wanna hear the story!

E: I don't own Trigun or the Matrix or any of its sequels, prequels, or whatever else. 

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Millie: I'm just wondering Meryl…but, how come we havent been saying anything?

Meryl: Good point, Millie. I think its because we are too stunned to say anything.

Millie: Most likely.

Jenny: Why are they here?

Gabbie: Why are you here?

Legato: Why am I here?! Vash….kill me..

Vash: Legato, I think you need a little dosage oooooof….LOVE AND PEACE!

Emmy: oi!

Jenny: oi?

Gabbie: oi?!

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE!

Legato: I could still kill them…

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE!

Legato: All of them…

Everyone except Vash: o.o

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE!

Morpheus: Legato, pick one…the red starburst or the blue starburst….

Meryl: What does that have to do with anything?!

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE

Emmy: Morpheus, why are you STILL here?!

Gabbie: Leave already, no one likes you.

Jenny: Morpheus, you need a buffer….

Morpheus: Buffer?

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE!

Legato: Maybe I should kill myself….

Jenny: FOR YOUR HEAD! A BUFFER for your HEAD!

Morpheus: What does that have to do with anything?

Millie: Pudding!

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE!

Meryl: Why me?

Gabbie: Because, you suck. Its because you suck.

Emmy: This is giving me a headache.

Jenny: Before, I could see my reflection on your head, now its getting dull….YOU NEED A BUFFER, I TELL YOU!

Vash: LOVE AND PEACE!

Legato: SHUTUP! SHUT-UP NOW!

Everyone: o.o

Gabbie: Uh…Leggie?

Legato:….what?

Gabbie: stand up….

Legato: ….no

Gabbie: STAND UP NOW…

Legato: I must die….

Jenny: Anyone know where I can find Knives?

Emmy: no

Gabbie: no

Vash, becoming serious: You know him?

Jenny: Uh….no….no, not yet…but he's my role model….

Legato: I know where he is….

Vash and Jenny: WHERE?!

Legato: he's….

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Jenny: I didn't mean THAT story! I meant the one where you smashed into the oven.

Emmy: I'm finished telling stories for the now…

Gabbie: That's too bad…cause' it was really funny.


	6. Finding Knives

E: I'm baaaaaaack, from writers block that is. And after drink several cups of Mate Vanna tea with a spot of Rooibos Vanilla, I feel I can continue this story.

G: ThisonetimeIwasatemmyshouseandweweresneakingoutandsheslippedandfellandhitthehoven.

J: AHAHAHAHAHHAHHAA!

E: Gabbie, stop speaking jibberish, anywho:

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a oven…

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Legato: He's in the secret hideout…

Jenny: Oh, well that's real helpful! Wheres the hideout?

Legato:….

Vash: You must tell us! The fate of human civilization depend on it!

Emmy: You act like he cares…you act like WE care.

Meryl: He's lying! A secret hideout? That's what they always say!

Millie: I bet its in the desert!

Jenny: Where else would it be?

Gabbie:…I know where this hideout is….

All: o.o

Jenny: Erm…okay, where is it?

Legato: How do YOU know where it is?

Emmy: She's been there of course, every night…to see Knives, behind your back Legato…

Legato glares at Gabbie.

Gabbie: NO! KNIVES IS UUUUUGLY!!

Jenny: No he isn't!

Vash: What about me?

Meryl: Where's that Morpheus guy?

Millie:…he's gone…my pudding's gone…there must be some connection.

Emmy uses this as a distraction and begins to attach a leash around Legato's neck.

Legato: Spider. What. Are. You. DOING?!

Emmy: Nothing!!

Jenny: Gabbie, I know we aren't the best of friends…but, TAKE ME TO KNIVES…please?

Gabbie: Ok.

Legato: You won't make it without a gung-ho gun

Emmy tugs on the leash.

Emmy: We got one.

Vash: Millie, Meryl, I think you should both stay here…for your own safety.

Meryl: Vash. Its our JOB!

Vash eyes turn into a icy glowing blue.

Vash: ITS YOUR JOB OR YOUR LIFE!!

Meryl: Well, if you put it that way then I pick JOB!

Millie: I think Mr. Vash is right on this way Meryl.

Jenny: I agree.

Gabbie points to East.

Gabbie: THAT A-WAY!

Legato: How do you KNOW?!

Gabbie starts walking towards the unknown, a twisted smile on her face.

Emmy follows, dragging Legato behind her.

Jenny: Bye Meryl! Later Millie! Have a nice death!

Jenny entwines her and Vash's arm and follows the others.

Meryl: That was weird…

Millie: I want my pudding!

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Emmy: That's it for now…

Gabbie: I think you should kill off Millie and Meryl.

Emmy: Do you now?

Jenny: Yes. Kill them!

Emmy: No.


	7. Just singin' and dancin' in the sun!

Emmy: You didn't think I would be back, did you? Me either. But I decided you should all suffer with this story. SO SUFFER DAMNIT.

I'm going to put no actions in this one, whatsoever. 

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Jenny: Its…so…hot here…

Gabbie: Hotter than Texas…

Vash: Texas?

Emmy: Texas.

Legato: Tecksas?

Jenny: NO!

Vash: I think we should get a move on now…there's something I have to do…

Jenny: Now that you mention, there's someone I need to do to.

Gabbie: That's just….raunchy.

Legato: I thought I'd mention this to all of you now that we're iles away from any civilization. Your going the wrong way.

Emmy: Then…whats that?

Legato: That's nothing.

Jenny: Knives is in there…

Vash: How do you know?

Jenny: He's right there, that's how.

Vash: Oh.

Emmy: Whys he…gardening?

Gabbie: I want to know the question to that to…Legato?

Legato:…He likes daises…

Jenny: HE'S STILL MY IDOL.

Emmy: Really? My idols that guy from the musical Singing in the Rain, the one who flips off the walls and has sex with a mannequin behind a couch.

Gabbie: Whoa.

Vash: My idols Rem!

Legato: Typical spider.

Jenny:…They weren't having sex, they were fighting!

Emmy: Not what it looked like to me…

Vash: Can't we just go confront Knives already.

Gabbie: What for? I'm enjoying watching him water flowers and do ballet…

Legato: Master doesn't do ballet.

Jenny: Oooh, by the looks of it he does now.

Vash: MY EYES!

Emmy: Ev-ry-body _dance!_

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Emmy: Maybe I'll do no dialogue and just actions in the next chapter. That'd be interesting. Short. I know. I'm not too sure if I'm continuing. Adult Swim has killed Trigun many times over. I can't count how many times I've watched all the damn episodes.

The mangas better.


End file.
